


this was a long, long, long time coming

by aesthetic_shitpost



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Soulmates, hopefully in a good way tho, request fic, the one where whatever you write on your skin shows up on your soulmate's skin, this is the longest fic i've ever written so YEET, whoever requested this ur getting a lot more than u bargained for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-25 20:56:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13221090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aesthetic_shitpost/pseuds/aesthetic_shitpost
Summary: anonymous said: hey, could you please do a meremine fic with one of those soulmate prompts you rb'ed ? i don't actually know the numbers but it's the ones where anything written on your skin appears on your soulmate’s skin as well ??-michael mell hasn't spoken to his former best friend, jeremy heere, since eighth grade. four years later, he suddenly gains a new soulmate.





	this was a long, long, long time coming

**Author's Note:**

> wow so i'm. wow. how did i write this much. this is like double the length of the fic that was my longest before holy shit bros
> 
> title from baby brothers by will connolly
> 
> i haven't really edited this, so if yall catch any grammar errors or typos or whatever, let me know down in the comments!
> 
> jeremy is in italics  
> michael is bolded  
> christine is italics and bolded

Michael stared down at the writing on his arm.

 

_ this is senseless / success is so senseless / it's relentless / with every entrance / an expectation to "connect" / no i can't live like this  _

 

Every so often, his soulmate would have no paper close to them and a quickly disappearing idea, so having some scrap of their creativity on his arm wasn’t new to Michael. What was odd about it was what written right next to the lyrics.

 

**_don’t forget to bring the stuff to rehearsal AGAIN_ **

 

This was strange because 1. It was written in with a glittery green pen and Michael’s soulmate always used black, blue, or red, never something glittery, 2. His soulmate wasn’t in the habit of writing down things to remember on the back of their hand, which meant that they either weren’t very forgetful or they used a different method to remember things. Either way, it was still unusual, and 3. The message wasn’t in his soulmate’s handwriting. 

 

This last point was perhaps the most important, because it meant that either Michael’s soulmate’s friends had gotten very fed up with them forgetting to bring something to rehearsal ( _ for what?  _ he wondered), the unlikely option that his soulmate had decided to change their habits and choice of pens, or - and this was the scarier and more life-changing option - Michael had somehow gained another soulmate.

 

While having more than one soulmate wasn’t completely unheard of, it wasn’t something that was very common at all. Michael had not at all been expecting this when he woke up that morning, so he was a little slow to take in this new revelation. In fact, thinking about it resulted in him missing all of first period because he couldn’t focus on anything but his hypothetical new soulmate. He kept thinking about it all through second period, all through third period (although he was interrupted by partner work), and all through fourth period until he got to lunch.

 

He waited through the lunch line for some inevitably shitty food and went to sit at his usual table. No one else was sitting there, but that was normal, so he didn’t pay the lack of people any mind. He just took out his phone and opened any app that would take up half an hour of his life and started playing. He needed a distraction, any distraction, something to take his mind of off his possibly hypothetical life-changing soulmate. 

 

He made it through twenty minutes of lunch like that when a loud burst of laughter rose up from one of the tables in the middle of the cafeteria. It was, predictably, from the ‘popular’ table, populated with the seven rulers of the school: Jake Dillinger, high school awesomeness personified; Rich Goranski, 5’5 bully extraordinaire; Chloe Valentine, the hottest girl in school; Brooke Lohst; the cutest girl in school; Jenna Rolan, the gossip queen; Christine Canigula, ruler of the drama department; and Jeremy Heere, the love of Michael’s life. 

 

They had been best friends from kindergarten up until seventh grade, when Jeremy decided that popularity and superficial friendships were more important than his best friend, his  _ only _ friend before middle school, Michael bitterly reminded himself. Jeremy was the reason he knew he was gay. Even as an asshole four years after they had last talked, he was still gorgeous. Michael would never be over him.

 

The group of friends were all laughing at something that Jenna had out on her phone. It was probably a video of someone kicking a puppy or something terrible like that. They seemed like the kind of people to enjoy watching that.

 

… Okay, maybe he was being a little harsh. Maybe Rich would enjoy watching that, considering he bullied half the school, but Christine definitely wouldn’t, being the ray of sunshine that she was, and she was laughing the hardest.

 

The bell rang. Time for math.

 

-oOo-

 

**who are you?**

 

_ … your soulmate? _

 

**that’s not what i meant**

 

_ you know we can’t write our names _

 

**i meant who are they**

 

_??? _

 

**bubbly handwriting, always uses glitter pen**

 

**i don’t know if you also got another soulmate or if you decided to practice different handwritings but i think i have another soulmate**

 

**please tell me if you see them too**

 

_ i do _

 

**oh thank god**

 

_ i was scared to say anything in case you didn’t see them _

 

**so was i**

 

**i just got frustrated with thinking about it so much**

 

**i had to know**

 

_ that probably would have been me in another week lol _

 

_ why do you think they’re not responding _

 

_ what if they only see one of us??? _

 

_ what if they don’t like us? _

 

**calm down, they’re probably asleep**

 

**it’s like 1 am where i am most reasonable people are asleep by now**

 

_ not us sleep-deprived high school students _

 

**that’s why i said reasonable**

 

_ so i guess we should just wait until they wake up tomorrow for a response??? _

 

**yeah i guess**

 

-oOo-

 

**_i don’t hate you_ **

 

**_you only started showing up recently and i was scared_ **

 

_ oh! you’re back!!! _

 

_ why were you scared?? _

 

**_because all my life my skin has been blank but now suddenly the universe decides to give me TWO soulmates_ **

 

**_like what am i supposed to do with that???_ **

 

**not hating us is a good start**

 

**oh good we’re all here**

 

**so just to clarify, none of us know why we all have another soulmate now, right?**

 

**_nope_ **

 

_ not a clue _

 

**great**

 

**so i guess let’s start by getting to know each other**

 

**we’ve known each other for years now but you’re new**

 

**so let’s catch up**

 

_ good idea _

 

_ so we can’t share any really personal information, but we can say things like how old we are and our genders and stuff _

 

_ so do you want to start with that? _

 

**_okay_ **

 

-oOo-

 

It had been a week since Michael had found out about his possibly hypothetical life-changing soulmate, and all he had gotten since then was more evidence. His second soulmate wrote many reminders (and some cute little doodles) on their arms, mostly in some bright glittery color, while his first soulmate kept writing lyrics and random thoughts and messages like  _ hey, hope you’re having a good day <3 _ . Michael himself drew lots of doodles when he was bored in class (which was often) and sometimes wrote little reminders or messages back to them ( **i am now, all thanks to you <3 <3** ). With a week’s worth of contrasting handwriting it was far easier to see the differences in his soulmates’ penmanship. The first one’s was much messier and spindly while the second’s was bubbly and neat.

 

Michael was once again sitting in the school cafeteria when Christine Canigula came to his table. This was not an everyday occurrence, so he did a double take. She was carrying a clipboard and a pen, which meant that she must have been asking people to sign something. That made a lot more sense than her just coming over to talk to him. That hadn’t happened since seventh grade.

 

“Hey!” She said as she approached his table.

 

“Hey.” He replied flatly.

 

“The drama department has been lacking in membership lately, so I was wondering if you would like to join for the spring musical?” She gestured with the clipboard in a way that seemed as though she wanted him to take it.

 

Of course it was about drama. What else could it be?

 

“Uh, I’m not really an acting kind of guy,” Michael said, turning back to his phone. 

 

“That’s okay! We need more people for tech, too.” Christine smiled. Michael sighed internally. God, why did she have to be so nice and likeable? This would be so much easier if she was mean.

 

“I’m not really interested in -”

 

“You can just come to the interest meeting! You never know what you’ll end up liking,” she interrupted. 

 

“I -”

 

“There’ll be free pizza,” she said persuasively.

 

Michael sighed. “Fine. If I get free food out of it, I’m sold.” He took the pen and the clipboard and signed his name in a free space.

 

“Great! Thanks for signing up! You’ll love it, I can just tell,” said Christine her eyes sparkling. Michael had doubts about that, but decided not to voice them. “See you this afternoon, 3:30 sharp!”

 

-oOo-

 

For some reason, Michael hadn’t thought to consider the fact that since Christine was friends with all the popular kids, all the popular kids might be at the theater interest meeting. He walked through the door and immediately regretted his decision to come. Chloe, Brooke, and Jenna gossiped around a table while Christine chattered away to an enraptured Jake and a less interested Rich. His only saving grace was the absence of Jeremy. Michael made his way to where a group of less intimidating kids sat and pulled out his phone to match the rest of them. He had just started to relax when an unmistakable voice interrupted his state of wellbeing.

 

“Hey Chrissy! Sorry I'm late. The calc test ran a bit long.” Jeremy walked in and headed over to where Christine, Jake, and Rich were standing. He integrated himself effortlessly into their conversation while Michael watched from the sidelines. Of course he was here. He was Christine's closest friend, of course he was in drama. He hadn't noticed Michael yet, but he will as soon as the meeting actually starts. Michael didn't look forward to that. They hadn't been in the same room as each other since eighth grade due to a lucky scheduling coincidence and Jeremy not wanting to talk to him anymore, so Michael dreaded the thought of what would happen once Jeremy realized he was here. He wasn't sure if he wanted him to talk to him or ignore him or beg for him back. All of the possibilities sparked an uneasiness in his gut.

 

“Alright! Let's get this meeting started!” Christine announced with a decisive clap. At her command, everyone got into something resembling a circle around the tables. Jeremy still hadn't noticed him as far as Michael could, seeing as he kept joking around with his friends. His “friends”.  _ They _ didn't know anything about him.  _ They _ hadn't been his best friend since kindergarten,  _ they _ hadn't helped him through an anxiety attack in sixth grade when he had to give a presentation in front of the whole class. His “friends” weren't really his friends in the same way that he w - had been. 

 

“Let's go around the circle and introduce ourselves with your name, grade, and why you're here,” Christine said. “I'll start. I'm Christine, I'm a junior, and I'm also the president of the drama club! I'm here not only because I'm the president and I sort of have to be here, but also because I want to welcome more people into our growing program!”

 

Jeremy was sitting right next to her, so he went next. “I'm Jeremy, I'm a junior, and I'm here because I would hate to break my track record of being in every single production we put on.” 

 

Michael hadn't even known that Jeremy liked theater. He guessed he wasn't paying as close attention as he'd thought.

 

There were about ten people before he had to go, most of them being the popular kids. He waited anxiously for his turn to arrive. What would Jeremy do? What did he want him to do?

 

He cleared his throat after the person next to him went (Stephanie, sophomore, liked musicals). “Uh, hi. I'm Michael, I'm a junior, and I'm mostly here for the pizza.” That sent a few laughs around and Christine started to explain that the pizza was on it's way, there had been a mishap at the pizza place, but Michael wasn't paying attention to any of that. He was focused on Jeremy, the way Jeremy's head snapped up when Michael said his name, how he'd tried to school his features into careful indifference but couldn't quite hide the gleam in his eye. Michael couldn't quite tell what it was - hope or anger or tears - but he felt some sort of satisfaction knowing that he had at least provoked a reaction from his former best friend.

 

The litany of introductions continued, with no one seeming to notice the tension between Jeremy and Michael. Neither of them was staring directly at the other, but they took quick, longing (at least for Michael) glances that they each thought the other wouldn’t see. This furtive back and forth was broken only by the arrival of pizza. The popular kids got the first pick by the unspoken rule of social dominance, so Michael waited in line to get his slice.

 

He sat down in pretty much the same place he was before, surrounded by everyone who also wasn’t really sure why they were here and with a clear line of sight to the popular kids. They laughed and  joked around as they did before, but Michael could tell how on edge Jeremy really was. Maybe they hadn’t spoken in four years, but eight years of friendship meant that you knew someone’s nervous habits pretty well. He watched as Jeremy systematically cracked his knuckles and ran his hands through his hair. He saw him picking at his nails and licking his lips more than was strictly necessary. He couldn’t have known just how attractive it was to Michael, but damn, was it doing things to him.

 

He could hardly focus throughout the rest of the meeting, mostly because of Jeremy’s presence, a little bit because the smell of pizza lingered in the air and he was a growing teenage boy with a healthy appetite. One slice was not enough.

 

The meeting disbanded at 4:30, an hour after it started, and the change in heart Michael felt towards the drama department was only because he now knew who was in it. He put on his headphones and started to head out of the school and to his house. He went to his locker first because there were a few books he needed, and it was only because of that lucky coincidence that he found one of his soulmates.

 

He had just opened his locker when he saw Christine walk up to hers on the other side of the hall. She took a few books out, put them in her backpack, and took out a distinctly purple pen. He could see her writing on the back of her hand but he couldn’t tell what she wrote. He closed his locker with a bang and took out his phone to turn on some music when he saw it: writing on the back of his hand in a distinctly purple glitter pen. Incredibly aware of his heart beating in his chest, he turned it over to see  **_don’t forget to read chapters 19-20 for history tomorrow!!! also bring in article for english._ **

 

Maybe Christine Canigula wasn’t his soulmate, but he couldn’t take the chance if she was. He turned around just as she closed her locker and turned to face his direction.

 

“Hi?” She said, as if questioning why he was just standing there with a faint look of astonishment on his face. He was spurred back into action by the sound of her voice. 

 

He lurched forward and asked, “I know - I know this sounds weird, but… can I see what you just wrote? On your hand? Just - just for a second…” He trailed off as she gave him a weird look.

 

“Okay,” she said, and showed him what she had written on her hand:  **_don’t forget to read chapters 19-20 for history tomorrow!!! also bring in article for english._ **

 

Michael brought his up next to hers, showing her the matching writing. 

 

“Oh,” she said, sounding very surprised. She looked up at him. “Which one are you?”

 

He shouldn’t have been surprised at the question, but he somehow was. With a trembling hand he took a black pen out of his pocket and wrote on his hand:  **i’m this one. why didn’t we give each other names before?**

 

Transfixed, they watched the writing appear on her arm in tandem with his. She huffed out a laugh when she saw what he wrote. “Good question. That’s a really good idea, actually, but I guess we don’t need to if I’ve already found you.”

 

“We haven’t found our other one yet,” he replied. “We might not be able to write our names until we’ve all found each other.”

 

“That makes sense.”

 

They stood there in a painfully awkward silence that comes with just having discovered that one of your soulmates is someone who you’ve known since middle school but have never had a full conversation with.

 

“Do you want to come to my house?” Michael blurted out. She looked at him. “Not to - do anything! Just to talk. I feel like we should probably do some of that.”

 

Christine nodded. “Okay.”

 

He nodded as if to steel himself for the coming afternoon. What had his life come to? One of the most popular kids in school was one of his soulmates - him, Michael Mell, loser extraordinaire. At least he had gotten the nicest one. He blew out a breath.

 

“Okay. Let’s go.”

 

-oOo-

 

_ alright. you’ll be mario, i’ll be luigi, and glitter pen can be princess peach. _

 

-oOo-

 

**aren’t they brothers?? that’s kinda messed up dude**

 

-oOo-

 

**_i’m heather macnamara, you’re veronica, and “mario” over there is martha_ **

 

_ none of those characters even end up dating _

 

**_but they should be_ **

 

_ u right _

 

**idek what you guys are referencing**

 

**_you’ve never seen heathers??!!!_ **

 

_ you gotta watch it dude it’s so good _

 

**_it was an inspiration for mean girls_ **

 

**yeah okay i gotta watch it**

 

_ when we all meet we’re watching it together _

 

**sounds like a plan**

 

**_yes!!!!_ **

 

-oOo-

 

Over the course of that afternoon, Michael learned that he and Christine weren’t actually that different. Maybe he liked video games and she preferred musicals, but they had a few things in common: they both had big imaginations, similar senses of humor, and shared adventurous and eccentric tastes in music. Other things they had in common were a soulmate and liking Jeremy. Christine didn’t know that last part, of course. It would be a little awkward if he told his soulmate that her best friend used to be his best friend and he was still really bitter about it. Christine had moved to their school in ninth grade, so she had no inkling of the bad blood between them. Michael wanted to keep it that way, but he knew that he couldn’t, at least not for long. Now that they knew that he was her soulmate, it wouldn’t be long before he started being integrated into her friend group by virtue of being “in a relationship” with her (he was pretty sure he was gay (and super in love with Jeremy) and she wanted to get to know each other better before they actually did anything, if they did anything at all). It was only a matter of time before he had to talk to Jeremy again.

 

And there was still the issue of who their third soulmate was. They knew that they were in high school in their grade and in their time zone. They knew that they wrote song lyrics and little doodles all over their arms when they were bored. They knew that they also liked video games and musicals, something that made both Michael and Christine happy. But that didn’t narrow it down at all. There were an endless amount of high school juniors on the east coast who liked video games and musicals. They could live all the way in Florida, for all they knew. The truth was, there was no way to find his third soulmate except waiting for them to find him. That was the way the universe wanted it, and that was the way it always worked out. He had found Christine by that method. He only hoped he could find them too.

 

He knew who he wanted them to be. And of course it had to be the one person who would be the most complicated to be soulmates with. But Michael couldn’t help it. He was in love! Of course he wanted Jeremy to be his soulmate. In his eyes, that was probably the only way he could ever get Jeremy back, because Jeremy obviously never wants to talk to him or even look in his direction ever again. Although… he had had some emotional reaction to his presence at the drama interest meeting today. Maybe he didn’t hate him as much as Michael thought he did. Maybe -

 

No. Michael shook his head. He couldn’t let himself hope like this, not when he was going to have to interact with him soon under the pretense that he was in a relationship with Jeremy’s best friend. 

 

Ugh. How had his social life gotten so messy within the span of a single day? Yesterday, he may have had no friends, but there was no drama, no feuds, no possible relationships. But contemplating his current social standing was doing him no good. Michael rolled over and went to sleep.

 

-oOo-

 

The next day, he woke up to a text from Christine. (They had exchanged numbers the day before. And while they could have communicated over skin, it didn’t have notifications and their other soulmate still didn’t know that they had met.)

 

**heather mac:** can i talk to you before school starts? We need to figure out how to introduce you to my friends

 

(She had insisted that they use the nicknames from heathers they had agreed on. They had agreed that when they found their third soulmate, they would be added as Veronica.)

 

Michael sighed. He didn’t want to deal with this so early in the morning, but there wasn’t really an easy way to avoid it.

 

**martha:** yea i can meet u in the back courtyard if u want to be sneaky, literally anywhere else if not

 

Having gotten through his morning routine, Michael got in his shitty PT Cruiser and drove to school. Once he was there, he made his way to the back courtyard that hardly anyone ever went to. He checked the time. Ten minutes before the warning bell rang. Good.

 

Christine was already waiting for him by the time he got there. 

 

“I want to introduce them to you at lunch,” she said as soon as he was standing in front of her.

 

“I don’t even get a ‘hello’ from my soulmate?” Michael asked with a quirk of his brow.

 

She smiled. “Hello, my good sir. May I show you off to my friends between the times of 11:50 and 12:20 PM on this fine Wednesday afternoon?”

 

Laughing slightly, he replied, “Of course, my fair lady, but I must inquire: ‘showing me off’? What about little old me warrants showing off?”

 

She shrugged and dropped the silly voice. “You’re my soulmate. Isn’t that enough?”

 

“I - Yeah. It is.” Michael didn’t know what he expected her to say. He suspected that anything she could have said would have been a disappointment. “I guess I’m just worried because I'm a loser and you're so not.” He gestured uselessly with his hand to somehow illustrate his point.

 

“You’re not a loser, Michael.”

 

He scoffed. “How am I not a loser? I have no friends and all I do is play video games and smoke weed in my basement. That seems kind of like the definition of loser to me.”

 

Christine grabbed his arm. “You’re not a loser,” she repeated firmly. “I actually think you’re a pretty cool guy. And after today, you won’t be able to say that you have no friends anymore, because you’re going to be friends with all of my friends.”

 

Michael rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, about that…”

 

“What?”

 

“Why are you so sure that they’ll like me? I’m nobody. I bet most of them don’t even remember my existence.”

 

“They’ll like you because I like you.” Michael was going to protest, but the steely determination in her eyes made him rethink that. “I know you think that all the popular kids are terrible people, but if you gave them a chance I think you’d actually really like them. You have a lot in common.” She gasped. “Oh my god, do you know who I think you’d get along with really well?”

 

“Who?” Michael had a sick feeling in his stomach.

 

“Jeremy!” She exclaimed. “You guys like the same things, and you have similar senses of humor and - it would be so great if my soulmate and my best friend were friends too!”

 

Michael smiled despite the discomfort swirling around in his chest.  “We’ll see.”

 

His soulmate calmed down, noticing his sudden change in mood. “Are you okay?” She asked with a furrowed brow. “You seem kind of -”

 

The warning bell rang just in time for Michael to not hear what she thought he seemed like. 

 

“I gotta go, bye!” He made his way out of the courtyard as fast as he could without making it seem like he was running. God, he was not looking forward to lunch today.

 

-oOo-

 

Michael surveyed the crowded cafeteria with a sense of dread. The popular table was full already, with the only person missing being Christine. Looking around, he didn’t see his soulmate anywhere, so he breathed a tentative sigh of relief and started to head to his usual table.

 

Before he could sit down, a voice spoke from behind him.

 

“Hey! You’re sitting with me now,” Christine said playfully. She held out her hand for him to take. “Come on. They’ll love you. And if they don’t, then I’ll make them.”

 

“I’m not sure you can force someone to like me, but okay,” he replied, mostly to keep his mind off of the inevitable confrontation that was about to happen.

 

Christine dragged him up to stand in front of the popular kids and cleared her throat purposefully, drawing their attention. Michael could feel his face turning red. He didn’t dare look in Jeremy’s direction.

 

“I’d like you all to meet Michael Mell,” she announced.

 

“No offense, but why are you introducing us to the loser?” Chloe asked. Michael shot Christine a look as if to say, ‘See! They did think I was a loser,’ but she studiously ignored it.

 

“Because he’s my soulmate.”

 

Michael chanced a glance at Jeremy to see him nearly choke on his sandwich. The rest of the group also expressed an appropriate amount of shock and disbelief, including a rather impressive spit-take by Rich.

 

“He’s your soulmate?! But I thought you didn’t have a soulmate!” He exclaimed.

 

Christine shrugged. “Yeah, that’s what I thought too. But a few weeks ago, writing showed up on my arm that I definitely didn’t put there. Yesterday, we figured it out, so now… here we are!” She accentuated her statement with jazz hands. Michael shifted uneasily. Were they just going to stand here and answer their questions forever?

 

Brooke startled and scooted over. “Sit down, sit down! If Christine says you’re cool, then you’re cool.” Michael carefully sat down, making sure that he didn’t touch Brooke at all. Christine sat down on his other side. Jeremy was at the other end of the table and across from him. Good. Maybe he could avoid the confrontation until another day. 

 

Jake turned to him and asked, “So, we don’t really know a lot about you.”  _ Because you only saw me as a loser for eleven years, _ Michael thought bitterly. “What’s your, uh, favorite game? I see you have a Pac-man patch on your hoodie.” Jake was obviously trying to make it less awkward, but it seemed that the only way to get there was being even more awkward. Great.

 

“Well, I’m a pretty big fan of Pac-man, obviously, but, uh, I play a lot of other games too! Like, uh, Apocalypse of the Damned is one of my all time favorites.” Shit. He shouldn’t have mentioned that. Well, can’t take it back now. Might as well go all the way. “I haven’t really been able to play it recently, because it was made in the nineties and I can’t play it with people online because it’s so old. But it’s a two player game, so I can’t play it by myself.”

 

“That sucks, bro,” said Jake. Michael studiously kept his focus away from Jeremy. Bringing up their favorite game had been sort of a low blow, but so was abandoning him for popularity, so they were kind of even.

 

Michael shrugged in a ‘what can you do’ kind of way. Jake’s face visibly brightened with an idea. “Hey, why don’t some of us come over and then we can play it with you?”

 

This was not something Michael had been expecting. The most popular kids in school, asking to come over to his house to play his lame retro video games? “I - I guess, yeah.”

 

Jake smiled. “I know you must be surprised, but you’re part of the group now! We need to get to know you somehow.”

 

Under the table, Christine grabbed his hand. He glanced over at her and she smiled back at him. He looked back towards Jake, but before he could speak, Jake said, “Oh hey, Jeremy! Don’t you love video games? Why don’t you come over with us to Michael’s house and play this game, Apocalypse of the Wronged?”

 

“It’s called Apocalypse of the Damned. And no. I don’t really think that’s a great idea.” He didn’t even look up much from his food when he said that. Maybe he didn’t want to be reminded of Michael’s presence. 

 

“But Jeremy, it would be so much fun!” Christine interjected. “And then you two could be friends! How great would that be? My soulmate and my best friend being best friends with each other.”

 

“Christine, I said no.” 

 

His voice was sharp, and it cut Michael to the core. All the same, he didn’t know what he expected. He already knew that Jeremy didn’t want to see him ever again. 

 

“It’s fine if he doesn’t come, Christine,” Michael said quietly to her.

 

“No, it’s not! You love video games,” she gestured to Jeremy, “And you love video games,” she gestured at Michael, “And I’ve hung out with you each individually and I think you guys would really get along! Why won’t you just give him a chance?” She finished angrily. Jenna watched their exchange with sharp eyes.

 

Michael made eye contact with Jeremy for the first time in four years. Jeremy looked annoyed and exasperated and all of it melted away as soon as he met eyes with Michael. For a second, Michael thought that maybe Jeremy would agree to Christine’s plan and play Apocalypse of the Damned with him just like they used to. Maybe they could even… 

 

No, he couldn’t let thoughts like that get out of control. Jeremy might agree to play video games with him and his friends, but there was no way that he would become friends with him again. Despite this knowledge Michael felt a bit of hope spring to life in his chest.

 

All of this passed through his mind in a second, and the second after that, Jeremy’s eyes were back to “normal”: cold, uninterested, and disgusted at the sight of him. He opened his mouth to say something that would undoubtedly cut Michael to the core.

 

Michael spoke before Jeremy could wound him. “It’s okay, Christine. I don’t think we’d really get along.”

 

“Yeah, you can’t just expect people to be friends just because they both like video games. It isn’t eighth grade anymore,” Jeremy said, looking right at Michael as he coldly and deliberately poured salt in the biggest cut he had ever made. Michael tried to restrain his reaction to only a slight intake of breath, but he wasn’t sure if it worked.

 

Christine was obviously still confused by their refusal to hang out together, but she soldiered on with her quest of ‘Make All of the Popular Kids Like Michael Mell.’ “Um, okay. Well, anyone else want to go with Jake and I to Michael’s house to play video games?”

 

“I’ll go!” Brooke offered. She seemed nice enough, so Michael was only slightly worried about that.

 

“Cool.” He was kind of glad that no one else had decided to go. Chloe was a bitch, anything he did around Jenna the whole school would hear about, and Rich had only recently stopped pushing him into lockers. 

 

Jake decided to once again segue into a slightly awkward conversation topic. “So what’s with the headphones.”

 

Michael shrugged. He couldn’t really mention his crippling social anxiety at a table with Chloe Valentine and Jenna Rolan, could he? (Not that he would tell them, anyway. They needed to earn his trust first.) “I like to listen to music.”

 

“Cool, bro. What’s your favorite band?”

 

The conversation took off from there. Apparently Brooke also listened to some of the weird indie bands he liked, and all of them knew who Bob Marley was. She started talking about her favorite artists.

 

“Yeah, Carrie Underwood’s pretty cool,” Michael said. 

 

“I thought you hated country music!” Jeremy exclaimed. They all turned towards him. They had kind of been ignoring his side of the table, but now everyone was fixated on him. Why would he know that?

 

Why did he remember?

 

Michael gave a noncommittal shrug. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. “People change. And I don’t care what genre you’re in, if you sing a song about tearing up your ex’s car after he leaves you, you’ve got my respect.”

 

He wasn’t sure if Jeremy had picked up on his subtle not-really-a-threat there, but he was proud of it. Jeremy’s eyes hardened. Before he could come up with a retort, Christine interrupted.

 

“Wait, how did you know that Michael hates country music?” She had moved to their town freshman year, after Jeremy had abandoned him to the horrors of high school. She had no clue of their shared history. Michael was interested to see how Jeremy would handle this one.

 

“I - It was just a guess, like, you know, just from what we know about him he seems like the kind of person that hates country music,” he scrambled to explain. Michael had to refrain from snorting. 

 

_ Educated guess, my ass. More like being forced to listen to all my rambles about how much I hated it for all of seventh grade. _

 

“But you sounded like you knew,” Christine replied. “Like you already knew for certain.”

 

Jeremy scratched his neck. “Well -”

 

“And why do you even care? No offense, Michael, but he made it clear he didn’t want to have anything to do with you with the whole video game thing. Why are you so invested in his music taste?” Jake asked. 

 

_ Huh, _ Michael thought.  _ More perceptive than I thought. _

 

“I - uh -” Jeremy stuttered. He obviously couldn’t figure out an excuse.

 

“Jeremy, who were you friends with before you were friends with us?” Jenna asked. It was the first time she had spoken since Michael had sat down. He startled at her question. One look at her told him all he needed to know.

 

She knew.

 

He didn’t know what he expected. Jenna Rolan knew everyone’s business. Apparently even business from middle school.

 

“W-What?” Jeremy asked.

 

“You must have had someone. You weren’t  _ that _ much of a loser that you were alone all through elementary school,” Jenna replied.

 

“Jenna, how is this relevant?” Christine asked.

 

“It’s not,” Jeremy answered firmly.

 

“Oh, it’s incredibly relevant.” Michael wasn’t so sure he wanted Jenna to reveal this either. All of his fantasy monologues to Jeremy for their then-hypothetical confrontation were quickly being forgotten.

 

“How?”

 

“Do you want to say it?” She asked Jeremy. “Or do you?” She levelled her cool gaze at Michael. He felt very intimidated.

 

“Why would Michael know?” His soulmate asked again. How she didn’t get it yet, he didn’t know. Everyone else was looking at them suspiciously. Of course, they might remember their years as partners in crime.

 

“Think about it, Christine,” Jenna said. “Michael would know who Jeremy’s best friend was because…”

 

Her face flooded with understanding. She looked at the two of them, frozen in uncertainty. “You were…”

 

Jeremy broke out of the stupor that Jenna’s questioning had put him in. He slid off the end of the bench and walked away. Michael watched him go, not really comprehending what was happening until Christine said it.

 

“You were his best friend.”

 

He nodded, still looking at Jeremy’s empty seat.

 

“Why aren’t you friends anymore?”

 

“You’d have to ask him that,” he said curtly. “I can’t give you his reasons for abandoning me for popularity.” He heard her sharp breath, but he still looked adamantly at the empty spot. “I mean, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it, so I have a lot of theories.” Now that he’d started talking about it, he couldn’t stop. He’d never said these things out loud. “The dominant theory is that he never really liked me and once he saw an opportunity for popularity and better friends, he took it.” It was more painful than he would’ve thought. “I can’t really blame him, though. I’m such a fucking loser, the only people I talk to regularly are my parents and some random guy on Warcraft. And I’m not even doing that great in school, even with all the free time I have because I have no friends and therefore no social life, because what’s the point of being cool in college if I won’t have any friends to be cool with?” He really shouldn’t be spilling all of this personal information to a table full of basically strangers. He let out a weak laugh. “God, I’m so fucking melodramatic. It’s been four years and I can’t stop wishing for him back.” It was taking all of his energy not to cry in the middle of the cafeteria in front of the people that were apparently better than him in Jeremy’s book.

 

“Then you should go get him back.” Christine wore a determined expression as she put her hand on his shoulder. He sniffled.

 

“What?”

 

“Go after him,” she explained. 

 

“Why would he want me? He made it clear what he thought about me four years ago.” He didn’t even try to fight the bitterness seeping into his voice. After four years of loneliness, he was allowed to be a little bitter.

 

“I think he likes you more than you think,” Jenna said cryptically. 

 

_ Him liking me at all would satisfy that requirement, but okay,  _ Michael thought.

 

“Go make him see that you’re amazing and you deserve to be back in his life,” Christine urged him.

 

What did he have to lose?

 

“Okay. Where did he go?”

 

-oOo-

 

Michael found his former best friend right where Christine had said he’d be: the stairwell in J Hall that no one used because it was so far away from anything else.

 

He looked like he was writing something on his arm. Michael caught a glimpse of black ink before he interrupted his writing time.

 

“Hey.”

 

Jeremy jumped about a foot in the air and rushed to put his pen away and push down his sleeve. When he saw who it was, his eyes hardened.

 

“Why are you here?” He asked flatly.

 

“Christine said I should make you see that I’m amazing and I deserve to be back in your life, so.” He shrugged. “I’m doing that. Hopefully.”

 

Jeremy didn’t have much of a reaction to that, so he tried something that almost certainly would. “Why did you leave?”

 

Jeremy stayed with his back facing his former best friend. Michael tried again. “Why did you abandon me?” There was still no response. He barrelled on. “Was it because I wasn’t good enough? Because I was boring? Because you cared more about popularity than your best friend?” He let out an ugly laugh. “What a fucking Slytherin. What was so bad about me that you had to abandon me like that?” He was nearly yelling at this point. “What did I do wrong?” His voice softened to just above a whisper. “How do I fix it?”

 

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Jeremy’s voice almost sounded like he had been crying, but that couldn’t have happened. “It was me. You were too good for me.”

 

Michael couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Jeremy thought that he was better than him? What? Michael was the one that fell apart as soon as Jeremy left, how could he be too good for him?

 

“So… you left because you thought you weren’t good enough?”

 

“That was part of it. Mostly it was because I was tired of being bullied and I cared so much about popularity. I thought if I was popular, I’d be happy.”

 

Michael swallowed nervously. “And were you?”

 

Jeremy turned to face him. His face was red and blotchy from where he had been crying and he reminded Michael of the time he had to calm him down from an anxiety attack in sixth grade. “How could I be happy without my player one?”

 

That was what did it for Michael. He rushed towards Jeremy, arms spread wide for a hug. It was the first time they had touched in four years. The hug was not a disappointment. Maybe it was a little salty and snotty from how hard both of them were crying, but that was a minor discomfort when Michael had just gotten his best friend back.

 

They ended up sitting down with their backs to the wall, holding each other and asking questions about their lives during the years they had missed.

 

“Why did you have to stop being friends with me to be popular?” 

 

“I guess I didn’t,” Jeremy realized. “I think I was in such an all or nothing mindset that it always seemed like one or the other, you know? Like, popularity or you. I didn’t realize that I could’ve kept being friends with you  _ and _ be popular. And honestly, I think the real reason is that I didn’t think I deserved it.”

 

Michael furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”

 

“I didn’t think I deserved to have you in my life,” he explained. “I thought that I was a loser and you were this amazing person who somehow wanted to hang out with me and it was all just because I happened to be lucky enough to be seated next to you in kindergarten. I thought that being popular might fix that, but, well. We know how that went.”

 

“Yeah.” Michael was silent for a moment, thinking through all that had transpired in the last hour. “So… does this mean that you want to come over and play Apocalypse of the Damned with me?” 

 

Jeremy smiled. “I would love to. Although,” he added, his smile slipping away, “I haven’t played since eighth grade.”   
  
Michael smiled back. “That’s okay. I haven’t either.”

 

“B-but Michael, that’s your favorite game!” Jeremy looked at him with wide eyes.

 

“I wasn’t lying about what I said back there. It’s a two-player game,” he said with a gentle smile. “And I couldn’t really find anyone else who would play my lame retro shit with me.”

 

“Well, lucky for you, I love your lame retro shit,” Jeremy replied. His smile looked a little dopey and it made Michael feel like maybe his feelings weren’t so unrequited after all. He smiled back at his newly acquired old best friend and snuggled further into his embrace. Currently they were huddled up against the wall, Michael nearly in Jeremy’s lap by this point. God, he was glad that discovering he was soulmates with Christine led to rediscovering his best friend.

 

His eyes widened. Christine! She would want to know what had happened after it had been at least fifteen minutes. He didn’t want to wriggle around to try to get his phone out of his back pocket, so he just took out a pen and pushed up his sleeve. As he rotated his arm looking for some empty space, he saw that his other soulmate (“Veronica”, as he guessed he should call them) had written some more lyrics.

 

_ i watched it all / hit rock bottom / when the odds were even / now i watch the clock / tick tock / from odd to even / odd to even _

 

He was writing something to Christine ( **it’s all good heather** **i’ll text you the details** ) when he felt Jeremy’s chin brush the top of his head and his breath hitch.

 

He twisted his head up to look at his friend. “What happened?”

 

Jeremy’s face was the palest he had ever seen it, and that was saying something, considering he was as white as a person could be. He was staring at Michael’s arm like he had seen a ghost.

 

“What is it?” Michael repeated, more concerned this time.

 

Shaking slightly, Jeremy raised his arm up to Michael’s and pulled down the sleeve. A breath escaped the both of them at the evidence so clearly laid out. Jeremy took out the pen he had been using earlier and wrote, in a more illegible hand than usual:  _ found you. _

 

Michael couldn’t take his eyes off of their arms, one dark, one light, the same writing in the same pens on both. He almost couldn’t believe it, wanted to interrogate whatever celestial being had put them together about how much pain they wanted Michael in. He carefully compared everything he knew about Veronica to what he knew about Jeremy.

 

Lives in New Jersey? Check.

 

High school junior? Check.

 

Like video games? Check.

 

Likes musicals? Considering he was friends with Christine and had been in the drama department for years, check.

 

Writes song lyrics on their arms and doodles in class when they’re bored? Apparently.

 

It all matched up. He even knew that Veronica had been writing generally sad or at least mostly not happy lyrics ever since freshman year, which matched up with the timeline of their relationship. 

 

Slowly, carefully, like he would break it he went too fast, Michael moved his head up to make eye contact with Jeremy, who looked like the dictionary definition of “deer in the headlights”. 

 

Michael remembered wishing that Jeremy would be his soulmate, wishing and wishing and wishing, knowing that it would never come true. Now that it had, he had no idea what to do. Kiss him? Run away? Reveal that he had been in love with him since seventh grade? They had only so recently rekindled their friendship. Every option felt like the wrong one.

 

After an eternity of silence and bewildered eye contact, Jeremy wet his lips and spoke. “So I’m guessing you’re not Heather Mac.”

 

Mutely, Michael shook his head. What was he supposed to say? “No, Christine is Heather. I’m - Martha.” Another moment of wondering what the hell to say to each other. “So… does this mean that I can finally watch whatever you guys are referencing with that?”

 

Jeremy gave him the ghost of a smile. “We did say we’d do that once we all meet each other.”

 

“Yeah.” Once again, they lapsed into silence. They had only just found each other again. Why did this have to come up and make things so awkward again?

 

Jeremy was staring at their arms again, so Michael took the chance to examine his face. He really was beautiful. Michael could stare at him forever. And maybe now he could! They were soulmates, right? Jeremy must feel some inkling of the same way about him. He had to tell him how he felt. This was the perfect time to tell him.  _ It’ll be just like in the movies,  _ he told himself.  _ I’ll confess my eternal, undying love, and he’ll do the same, and we’ll make out and ride off into happily ever after. _

 

“Jeremy, I -”

 

“Michael -”

 

They spoke at the same time. Jeremy embarrassedly gestured for Michael to go first.

 

“Jeremy, I - I know this might not be what you want to hear, after so many years and we’ve only just now reunited and haven’t even really got to know each other yet, but we’re soulmates, and -” He stopped his rambling and took a breath. “Fuck. Okay. Fuck.” He closed his eyes and breathed out slowly. “I’m in love with you.”

 

No response. 

 

Michael kept his gaze trained on the floor, not ready to see any of the possibilities of Jeremy’s reaction. “I - I know this must be a bit of a shock, but the universe put us together anyways, so I thought that maybe, for once, it did something right.”

 

Jeremy took a deep breath. “Michael.” Every cell, every atom in Michael’s body came to attention and his head snapped up to look him in the face. “I don’t…  _ think _ I’m in love with you?” It ended up coming out like a question, and he hurried to explain himself. “I mean, of course, I love you! But I don’t think I’m  _ in  _ love with you. I’m pretty sure I’m straight, and I only like you like a friend, you know, it’s not like I can’t take my eyes off you when you’re with me and I can’t take my mind off you when you’re not. And I love talking to you, and I know I’ve definitely fallen asleep just listening to you talk more than once, but that’s just, you know, as a friend! And maybe I noticed every time you put a new patch on your hoodie, but that doesn’t mean anything, right? And I like c-cuddling with you like we are right now, but anyone who says bros can’t do that is and idiot, right? And sure, sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to - to kiss you, but -” He swallowed and paused for the first time in his nervous monologue. “But everyone wonders what it would be like to kiss their best friend at one time or another.” He made a strange attempt at laughter. “Right?”

 

He was just  _ begging _ for validation, for Michael to tell him that yeah, everyone has a little crush on their best friend, bro, no big deal, but he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t do that because this was the exact same thing he had told himself in seventh grade, right before he realized how bullshit that was and how much he was in love with Jeremy. 

 

Jeremy’s eyes bored into him, desperate for something to tell him what he needed to know. Michael did the one thing he could: he kissed him.

 

For the first few seconds of the kiss, Jeremy was stiff beneath his lips. Gradually, he started to respond more to Michael, who had no idea what the fuck he was doing, having never kissed anyone, but who tried his best anyway. Jeremy started to take control of the kiss, because he actually had experience, before he wrenched himself away with a gasp.

 

“I - You - We -” 

 

Michael smiled and ran a hand down his side. “What is it?”

 

He could see in Jeremy’s face the moment he said to himself,  _ fuck it, that was a damn good kiss _ , just before he pulled him back in for another one.

 

It was full of love and trust and heat and Michael decided that he didn’t care if he missed the rest of the school day if it meant he’d spend it doing this. He guessed he’d have to thank God or whatever for putting them together after all.

 

-oOo-

 

“So,” Christine said. “Don’t leave out any of the details.”

 

She was sitting on one of the beanbags in Michael’s basement, Michael and Jeremy squished together on the other one. They had agreed to meet up after school to tell Christine exactly what had happened between them, so that was where they found themselves that Wednesday afternoon.

 

As the two told their soulmate  their story, she reacted with the appropriate facial expressions for each part. When it was over, she just about exploded with questions, which the boys answered somewhat bemusedly. After her interrogation, she fell back on the beanbag and stared up at the ceiling.

 

“Wow. I can’t believe I’m soulmates with my best friends! This is amazing!” She exclaimed. She turned her head to face them. “I’m so glad it turned out this way.” There was a sincerity in her voice that the boys had rarely heard.

 

Jeremy smiled contentedly at his soulmates. “Me too.”

 

“Me three,” added Michael. They all giggled. There would probably be a lot of that in the future. After their laughter had died down, he said, in a very serious voice, “We should probably talk about this, though.”

 

“What do you mean?” Christine asked.

 

“I mean the whole dating thing,” he replied. “I know me and Jeremy are dating, but I don’t know what you want to do.”

 

Christine thought about it for a moment. “Well,” she said slowly, “Considering the fact that Jeremy and I dated last year, it wouldn’t be so outrageous to try it again.”

 

“Wait, you guys dated?” Michael exclaimed.

 

“It was only for, like, a month,” Jeremy reassured him.

 

“And looking back on it now, I’m pretty sure he broke up with me because he was still hung up on you,” Christine told Michael. 

 

“What? Really?” 

 

Jeremy flushed and wouldn’t meet his eyes. “...Maybe…”

 

“Well, now you’ve got Michael  _ and _ me, so maybe we can make it work this time,” Christine proposed hopefully.

 

“Y-yeah,” he replied. “That sounds good.”

 

Christine turned her gaze on Michael. “I know we talked about this before, but let’s rehash it just so Jeremy knows what’s up.” He nodded.

 

“I’m gay and we just met, so we’re taking it slow and maybe it’ll turn into something but we don’t know,” Michael explained.

 

Jeremy nodded. “Okay, that sounds reasonable.” There was a moment where they all just looked at each other, none of them knowing what to say. 

 

Christine broke the silence by saying, “Okay, move over, I want to cuddle both of my soulmates.”

 

They laughed and scooted over so that she could just barely fit on the beanbag. She ended up being half-draped over them anyways. Once they were all comfortably in place, the three relaxed into each other, just savoring the feeling of being so close to their soulmates.

 

Contentedly, Michael sank into the beanbag and wrapped one arm around Jeremy and the other around Christine. It was as if, with the presence of his soulmates, something in him automatically relaxed. He didn’t think he had ever felt more at peace.

 

-oOo-

 

When Michael woke up the next morning, the first thing he did was look at his arm. Christine had left him a good morning message and a few happy face doodles. Jeremy had also written a good morning message, this time accompanied by song lyrics. 

 

_ but we were never done / cuz this is an extension of / more than one love / this was a long, long, long time coming _

 

Michael smiled. He had never loved his dumb songwriter boyfriend more.

**Author's Note:**

> song lyrics used, in order, are from bohemian groove: part 1 (invitation), odd2even (a newer sleep), and baby brothers, all by will connolly. his music is really nice and chill and you should check it out on youtube and bandcamp
> 
> leave a comment if you enjoyed! also leave a comment if you noticed an error because i didn't edit
> 
> hmu on tumblr: aroacethetic-shitpost


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